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Friday, January 29, 2010

does brain fog mean I'll fail???

Haven't posted in a couple weeks because I have been pretty busy with school and my classes.
Before the seme,ester started I expected Spanish to be pretty easy for me since I had taken it for so many years from elementary-highschool. So far it has been coming back to me pretty well. It's an online class with mandatory voice discussions every week. I worry sometimes when I am preparing for these discussions that my brain is going to go blank and I will forget everything- vocab, pronounciation, conjugations, even how to introduce myself correctly. I worry because of something that is pretty familiar to most lupus and/or fibromyalgia patients- brain fog. It get really bad sometimes but so far it hasn't affected my Spanish too much. Odd. But good!
Where the brain fog has been affecting me is studying for chemistry. The math parts of chem I can work through pretty well, I can solve the problems at least. And I think I'll be OK with balancing equations because it is pretty much a step-by-step process with a set result or solution. It follows a logical progression which can be worked through. The problem is that we are supposed to know the names and formulas for about 30 "common" polyatomic ions. There lies the issue- memorization. For most things we work with there is some way to figure out or something you can look at for clues to your results. Not these. This is straight memorization and something I am not sure my lupie brain is dealing with very well. Yet, if the formula is in front of me I can identify the substance and solve whatever problem there is. I just can't name it....or I can look at a formula and name it BUT hardly ever can I look at the names & come up w/ a correct formula. I can do harder stuff but not this (relatively) simple memorization!
This doesn't make sense to me at all. thankfully in chemistry we almost always have at least our calculator and periodic table and can EVENTUALLY get to a formula. As a pre-pharm student I have to take biology, microbiology, & physics in addition to chem & organic chem. Biology seems a bit scarey because I have a feeling that will involve quite a bit of memorization. The truly scarey class I have on my cirriculum is coming up this summer or fall though. Anatomy & Physiology. I have already heard that this class is almost entirely memorization. I am scared to death of that idea. If I can't memorize 30 ions, how am I going to memorize the entire human body???

Or does having lupus and fibro mean I am destined to fail (as a pre-pharm/science major) and should find something easier to do??? And does it mean I am destined to feel dumb more often than I care to?